


look at this idiotic fool that you made me

by leiasfate



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Piper McLean, Character Study, Confusion, Daddy Issues, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Piper McLean, Not Canon Compliant - The Heroes of Olympus, Piper just wants to be loved back, Post-The Lost Hero (Heroes of Olympus), as she should
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26683108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiasfate/pseuds/leiasfate
Summary: Piper hated how stupid she’d been. How could she have let this happen? How could she have fallen in love with her, of all people?No matter, though. She was a daughter of Aphrodite, she could get through it. She could have any girl she wanted.And yet, even if they were extremely cute or interesting, none of them would be Annabeth Chase.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Piper McLean, Jason Grace & Piper McLean, Piper McLean & Leo Valdez, Piper McLean & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

After several quests, leading her cabin, and three months helping build the Argo II, there was nothing that could take Piper McLean by surprise. Or at least, that was what she thought.

The ship was halfway done, so the Hephaestus cabin had told them to leave the rest of the work to them, with Leo and Annabeth presiding over the construction. She was kind of glad she didn’t have to help anymore (mechanics wasn’t her forte), but at the same time she missed it, because other than doing the daily chores with her cabin, she really didn’t have anything to do. Jason and her spent time together, but it mostly consisted of sitting together in silence, sometimes holding hands. They weren’t even a couple, if she was being honest with herself. She didn’t protest or try to change it, because she honestly didn’t know how she felt towards the Roman boy.

She was starting to think she didn’t have feelings for him at all. In fact, she was certain. Their whole relationship was a lie, and she had realized that there was really nothing to miss, her initial infatuation had faded away long ago. She really appreciated and loved him as a friend, though.

Despite being surrounded by a lot of people, Piper felt quite lonely. Leo spent most of his time on Bunker 9, so whenever they saw each other they just had brief small talk, the deep conversations they used to have when they skipped classes together long forgotten. Annabeth hung out with her some afternoons, but her time was also consumed by the Argo II, and oddly enough, that made her feel sad.

She loved getting to know her siblings and the other campers, especially the younger ones, because they looked up to her and made her feel like she had a purpose.

On occasions, her thoughts overwhelmed her, and she sneaked away to the woods. Which was exactly what she was doing at the moment.

The reason? Lacy had asked her what she would be doing if she weren’t at camp, and it made her dwell on things that just felt like a knife to the chest. If she weren’t at camp, she would be alone, like she’d been most of her life. She no longer had a caretaker, because she hated them and at thirteen she’d convinced her father that she was old enough to take care of herself. She was popular at her elite private school, but she’d gotten so fed up with only hearing news about her dad from his assistant that she acted out. It wasn’t a crime, not really, because the salesman had admitted that Piper had only batted her eyelashes and asked him for the car and he gave it to her. But she still got a very large fine (that was paid off immediately) and had to transfer to the Wilderness School.

There, she had decided that she wouldn’t tell anyone that Tristan McLean was her dad. It would only get people to fear or worship her, and she’d already gotten enough worship at her previous school. It was a chance to start over, as a normal person.

Not that it had gone well, anyway.

“Piper?” The voice made her heart skip a beat.

All of her worries disappeared as she looked up to see Annabeth. Her blonde hair wasn’t on its usual ponytail, it was down, framing her stunning face and making her eyes seem darker. The sun was hitting her face in a way that made Piper’s breath hitch, and her only thought was that the girl looked ethereal.

“Annabeth.” She swallowed thickly. “Hi.”

The things she felt while the daughter of Athena was around were indescribable, and she wasn’t willing to unpack them yet, or ever. She was already dealing with her own issues, no need to add confusing feelings into the mix.

Annabeth sat on the ground beside her, hugging her knees. “What’re you doing out here? I’m having a break and wanted to spend it with you.”

Her ears felt hot. “Oh, I just needed some time to be by myself.”

“Do you want me to go, then?” The girl looked sad at that.

“No, no!” She quickly shook her head. “You can stay.”

“Alright.” A smile formed on her lips. “You’ve always been there for me, you know? You always comfort me whenever I need it. So if you want to talk about what’s troubling you, I’m here.”

Yes, she always comforted Annabeth. It made her feel whole, useful. Maybe she could experience what it felt like the other way around.

“I’ve just been thinking about my dad.” Piper sighed. “Our relationship was broken before, but now I think it’s damaged beyond repair.”

“Why’s that?”

“I never really see him. He doesn’t call often, either. But now that I’ve erased his memories... there’s an even bigger barrier between us. He’ll never really know me.”

“Oh, Piper.” Annabeth’s eyes softened as she reached out to squeeze her hand. “I know you don’t want to tell him the truth because he’s already been through a lot, but maybe in a few months, or even a few years, you could fix your relationship. In the meantime, you have us. We’re your family, and we’re here for anything you need.”

She gave her friend a half-hearted smile. “Yeah, maybe someday. But I’m really glad to have you guys.”

_Especially you._

Gods, where had that thought come from? Thankfully, she hadn’t said it out loud.

“You’re very brave, McLean. And selfless, too. I don’t know if I could’ve done what you did for your dad, knowing he wouldn’t remember the most important part of my life.”

Her lips parted slightly, eyes widening. She wasn’t selfless, far from it, but Annabeth’s expression was clear and honest. She didn’t know how the blonde could see her in that light.

“I’m really not, but thanks for saying that.” Piper adverted her gaze to hide how vulnerable she was.

“What do you mean? Of course you are, I’ve seen it.”

She remained silent, biting down on her lip. After a second, Annabeth gently pushed her chin up with her fingers to make their eyes connect.

“Hey, don’t tear yourself down. You are all of the things I said, even if you don’t think so yet.”

Again, she chose not to speak. What was she supposed to say, anyway?  _ Thank you again, but you’re wrong  _ didn’t sound like a good answer. She kept her gaze fixed on Annabeth’s, heart pounding.

Perhaps she would actually have to unpack those emotions, after all.

Before either of them could talk again, Annabeth’s watch made a beeping sound.

“Oh, my break’s over.” The blonde sounded almost disappointed. “Want to go back with me?”

“Um...” Piper blinked rapidly, snapping herself out of whatever trance she’d been in. “No, I’ll just stay here for a little while longer.”

“Are you sure?” Annabeth raised an eyebrow, hesitant.

“Yes, Chase.” She gave her a crooked smile. “I’m sure.”

“Fine, but you better be back at camp by the time I’m finished. We’re having a s’mores night.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The daughter of Athena nodded and gave her a final wave before turning around and walking back to the bunker. Piper stared at her retreating form with a sigh, trying to subdue what she was feeling.

She knew she liked girls, that wasn’t a debate. She’d never been in a relationship, but she’d had several make out sessions with girls from school (simpler times), and Jason was the first and only boy she had ever liked.

_Oh._

Perhaps she didn’t like boys at all.

But that wasn’t the issue at hand. The issue was that she could feel herself rapidly falling for Annabeth Chase, a girl that was in a relationship and talked about her boyfriend almost 24/7. Not to mention that she didn’t even know if Annabeth liked girls, too.

She absolutely hated it. She prided herself on being in control of her emotions, could even control other people’s, and yet she hadn’t stopped herself from falling for someone who wouldn’t reciprocate. She set herself up for heartbreak.

“Ugh. I hate it here.” Piper spoke to no one in particular, and in her frustration, took her dagger out of its sheath, throwing it at the tree in front of her.

It landed right in the middle of the trunk.

* * *

Eventually, Piper went back to camp, praying that Annabeth wasn’t back already. Facing her wrath was definitely not something she wanted.

There was no sight of her, so that was good news. She headed towards her cabin, and saw Jason sitting on the steps, probably waiting for her.

She didn’t know if she could avoid having a hard conversation with him anymore. Maybe it was time to be honest.

“Hey, Sparky.”

“Pipes!” He stood up, grinning. “Where have you been?”

Jason was so enthusiastic that it broke her heart. The fear of losing him kicked in immediately, making her almost want to run back into the woods and hide there until she got enough courage to tell him the truth, even if it meant he would hate her.

“Uh, I— I was just taking a walk.” She hoped she didn’t look nervous. “What about you? What have you been up to?”

“I’ve just been training with the Ares kids.” He frowned. “Are you okay? You seem... shaky.”

How many more people were going to ask her if she was okay?

“I’m fine, Jason.” Realizing how rude she’d sounded, she took a deep breath. “Actually, I need to talk to you. About something serious.”

“Okay. Do you want to go to my cabin so we can talk in private?”

“Yes, sure.”

He held her hands as they walked, while she tried to hype herself up. He wouldn’t hate her. He would understand.

Not many things scared Piper McLean, but abandonment was a huge issue for her. Starting with the fact that for most of her life she knew nothing about her mom, and ending with the countless days she woke up in panic to an empty house, her dad leaving on impromptu trips without saying goodbye.

“So...” She hadn’t even noticed they were already inside. “What did you want to talk about, Pipes?”

“Jason, what are we?”

His face fell. “I don’t... we’re together, right?”

_ Oh, Gods. Here we go. _

“I don’t think we can even call it that.” Piper linked her hands together, not knowing what else to do with them. “This whole thing... it was Hera’s doing, it wasn’t really us. I need to figure out things about myself, I have to fix my own issues. And I think you do, too.”

“You’re right.” He looked resigned, as if he knew there was no way to change her mind. “Maybe one day we can try again.”

That phrase was the reason she finally broke. Her eyes filled up with tears, an ironic laugh leaving her lips.

“Actually, I don’t think we can.” She anxiously bit down on her lip. “Jason, you’re the first boy I’ve ever liked. I had only liked girls before.”

Jason stayed quiet, staring at her. It seemed like he was still trying to figure out what she’d meant by that. Unfortunately, the silence was enough for her first tears to fall.

“Oh.” He finally said, and a sob echoed through the room. “Piper... hey, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

“I’m... I’m sorry.” Was he going to leave? Was he going to hate her for the rest of their lives?

No. Jason closed the space between them, wrapping his arms around her and let her cry into his chest.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He whispered against her hair. “If anything, I hate Hera even more for making you go through this.”

“But—“ She tried to argue, to apologize for leading him on.

“Shh.” He interrupted. “It’s okay, Piper. None of this, absolutely none, is your fault.”

Instead of replying, she sobbed again, her arms tightening around his torso. The Roman boy kept caressing her hair, comforting her with reassuring whispers.

After what felt like eternity, she finally stopped crying, breaking the embrace. “Sorry for that.”

“Don’t apologize, Pipes.”

“We’re still friends... right?” Logically, she knew there was nothing to be afraid of, but she still had to ask.

“Of course we are.” His hand took hers, bringing it up to his lips and kissing her knuckles. “Best friends.”

She smiled at him, feeling like she’d gotten rid of a heavy weight on her shoulders. Everything had turned out okay. She looked at the window, noticing that the sun was setting.

Annabeth was going to kill her.

“Jason, what time is it?”

“Uh, 7:30. The bonfire’s about to start, right?”

“Yeah. We better hurry.”

They sprinted out of the door and towards where everyone was already gathered, Annabeth included. And by the way her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyebrows were knit together, the girl wasn’t happy.

“Hey, Annabeth.” She approached her carefully. “How did the construction go today?”

“Good.” The blonde’s tone was cutting. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Sorry, I was with Jason.”

“I’m aware. Someone told me they saw you two going to his cabin.”

Great, now everyone would think something ‘inappropriate’ had happened between them. Not that she cared much about rumors, but still, wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

“We were just talking.” It didn’t seem to be the ideal time, but she had to tell Annabeth what happened. “Actually, we broke up. For good this time.”

The girl gasped, her expression changing from annoyance to sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Piper shrugged. “It should’ve happened way before.”

Annabeth hugged her, making her breath hitch. “Well, you already know I’m here for you, for whatever you need.”

“Yeah.” She inhaled the girl’s vanilla scent. “Thanks, Chase.”

“No problem, McLean.” Annabeth pulled back, grinning brightly. “Now, let’s go sit down.”

  
  


The rest of the night was spent hearing stories and laughing, which thankfully distracted her from overthinking. It felt nice.

At one point, she glanced over at Annabeth, who was laughing hard. Her grey eyes mesmerized her, as the reflection of the fire flickered in them.

The butterflies in Piper’s stomach were terrifying, to say the least.

She was in deep trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

Piper had been dealing with unwanted attention since she was a child, but she honestly hadn’t been expecting the attention she got from the majority of camp after they realized Jason was no longer her boyfriend.

The week after the break up had been good, no one even noticed that they’d broken up. The second week, though, someone finally caught up with the fact that they no longer hung out every day or held hands. And that piece of information spread like wildfire.

Soon enough, she started getting smiles and waves from people she’d never talked to before, and gotten invited to secret parties in various cabins. Lacy told her it was because, being the most powerful charmspeaker and a daughter of Aphrodite, her aura was strong. She didn’t know if that was possible, but she did know she was attractive, and not in a narcissistic way. It was just self-awareness.

She tried her best to let people down easy, but she did love to attend parties. It was really nice to make new acquaintances, and learning about the stuff other demigods could do. By far, her favorite group were the Hecate kids, because their knowledge of witchcraft was just amazing and it piqued her interest.

As for the other aspects of her life, she still couldn’t stop thinking about how damaged her relationship with her dad was. She wondered if he ever thought about her (as far as he knew, she was in a strict summer camp that didn’t allow external communication). The chance that he didn’t even care made her heart clench.

Piper tried hard not to go down that hole, but as she avoided it, she fell into another hole that could be arguably deeper: her feelings for Annabeth Chase. They hadn’t really hung out in weeks, but the blonde always made sure to ask how she was doing, and gave her a grin that made her heart skip a beat. That girl was sunshine personified.

She almost wished that Annabeth had turned out to be as cold and stoic as she’d been when they first met. Maybe then, she wouldn’t have fallen for her. Maybe then, she wouldn’t feel so connected to her that she ached to be near her.

If only.

She remembered her first crush, as a fourteen year old just entering high school. Her name was Bailey, and Piper had been obsessed with her. Back then, she’d thought it was just because she wanted to be her friend, but as their friendship bloomed, so did her feelings. She caught herself staring at Bailey more often than not, gaze fixed on the way the girl twirled her hair between her fingers while they did their schoolwork. Her laugh had been Piper’s favorite sound, too. But then Bailey moved away, and broke her heart by doing so. She’d been sad for weeks, barely talking to anyone at school, much less to her dad, who after asking if she was doing okay just believed her affirmative answer.

It had taken her a long time to have a crush on another girl again, but by the end sophomore year (before being sent to the Wilderness School) she’d already kissed half of the girls in her class, never having a serious relationship with any of them. She was regarded as a player, and looking back on it, maybe she had been. It was in her DNA, after all, from both of her parents.

What bothered her was that, with all those girls, Piper hadn’t felt half as much as she did with Annabeth, not even Bailey could compare. Just one look from Annabeth made her feel tingly, making her heart pound loudly. Whenever they touched, she felt electrified in a way that was becoming dangerously addictive. Maybe she was going insane.

She wished she could stop thinking about her. But no matter how much she tried, she always ended up awake in the middle of the night, doing exactly that. It was crazy how one person had managed to turn her world completely upside down without even knowing it.

Annabeth would never know, not if she wanted to keep her as a friend. If the girl got even the slightest hint that Piper liked her, she was sure it would ruin their friendship. It would be so awkward that they would surely end up as just old acquaintances.

Her chest felt heavy just by thinking about it.

“Hey, Piper!” A group of girls from the Hecate cabin made her look up from her breakfast. “Wanna hang out with us tonight? We’re trying some cool spells because of the full moon.”

“Of course!” She smiled, happy that she would have a distraction. “I’ll see you there.”

They giggled and waved, leaving her to ignore her siblings’ incredulous gaze. She looked down at her yogurt bowl again, only for a pair of hands to take it quickly.

“Hey!” She faked annoyance, trying not to show obvious heart eyes at Annabeth’s cheeky grin. “One of these days you’ll have to get your own breakfast.”

“As if you don’t do the same.” The blonde rolled her eyes, taking a spoonful to her mouth. “Wow, this is good. What’re you doing today?”

“Not much, I think. I’ll hang out in cabin twenty tonight.”

“You’ve been there a lot lately.” Annabeth’s eyes dimmed a little. “We haven’t hung out in weeks.”

She frowned at the almost accusatory tone. “You’re very busy, Annie.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” The girl sighed. “And don’t call me Annie.”

Piper chuckled. “Deep down you love it.”

Annabeth shook her head, fighting a smile. “We’ll hang out soon, just the two of us, okay?”

Her throat went dry. “Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll find you later.”

Annabeth left to her own table, and this time she couldn’t ignore her siblings’ whistles and ‘Piper’s got admirers’ chants.

“Shut up unless you all want to be on bathroom duty for a whole week.”

They promptly closed their mouths at that, knowing that she would act on her threat. She gave them a hard stare and walked away, going back to the cabin to get started on the chores. She didn’t want to think about Annabeth all day long, and keeping herself busy would hopefully help.

* * *

After doing everything she had to do for the day, Piper got ready and walked to cabin twenty after the sun set, happy to learn more about magic.

“Piper!” A voice behind her made her jump. “Wait!”

She turned around to see Annabeth running to catch up to her. It was enough to make her heart race.

“Annabeth?”

“Hey.” The blonde caught her breath. “Come with me?”

“Where?” She frowned. “I was going to—“

“I know, but... I wanted to show you something.”

“Oh. But I said I’d be there, can you show me tomorrow?”

“No.” Annabeth’s eyes looked pleading. “Don’t go there, come with me. Please?”

She felt like putty Annabeth’s hands, ready to bend to her every will. “Okay, let’s go.”

The daughter of Athena’s face lit up as she grabbed her hand, sending a tingle up her arm. Soon enough, Piper found herself in the beach, being dragged to a secluded area surrounded by rocks.

“Why are we here?”

Annabeth simply smiled. “Look up.”

Wow. The sky looked beautiful and clear, with stars scattered all around it and the moon glowing high above them. The blonde stood beside her closely, which made her hyper aware of their shoulders brushing.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered, as if they were having a secret moment. “Is it always like this?”

“Not always, but somehow the sky is clearer on this area.” Annabeth laid down on the sand, motioning for her to do the same. “Let’s stargaze for a bit.”

She hated sand. It was awful and rough, and she hated how it got everywhere. But Annabeth was looking up at her expectantly, and she couldn’t say no.

They gazed in a comfortable silence, while Piper felt happiness bubbling up on her chest. She hadn’t hung out with her friend in so long, and it felt refreshing that there was no awkwardness between them. Despite that, she had to fight the urge to reach out and link their fingers together.

“Do you ever think about what would’ve happened, what you would be doing if you weren’t a demigod?” Annabeth spoke up.

Piper glanced away from the stars to look at the blonde, who had been already staring at her. It made her face grow warm. “Not really, I’ve gotten so used to this that I can’t imagine anything else. I guess I’d keep going to school and then I would decide what to do with my life. I have entertained the idea of following my dad’s footsteps, but I don’t know if that’d ultimately work out.”

“Oh, you would’ve been the most adored movie star in the world, Miss McLean.” The hint of a smile appeared on Annabeth’s lips.

“Why, thank you.” Her cheeks felt even hotter. “What about you? What would you be doing?”

“Well, everyone knows I love architecture, so that’s what I would study after school. I’d get an apartment of my own, decorate it however I want. It’d be peaceful, I think.”

“That sounds amazing.”

“Yeah. In that kind of life I think we wouldn’t meet, though.”

The words sucked all the air out of Piper’s lungs. She couldn’t fathom the idea of not having Annabeth in her life.

“Why not?” She propped herself up on an elbow. “I think we would meet eventually.”

Annabeth copied her action, so that they were looking at each other face to face. “You think so?”

Yes, she believed that with her whole being. But how could she explain it without giving away the fact that she was hopelessly in love with her?

“I do.” She could feel her heart on her throat. “I— I think we’re connected, somehow. Have you felt that?”

The other girl gasped quietly, her eyebrows tilting up a little. “Yes, I have. I feel like we’re connected, like we understand each other on a deep level.”

That was exactly how she felt, and also felt like everything was just right when they were together. She swallowed thickly, wishing she could just cup Annabeth’s cheek in her hand. “No matter what universe we’re in, we would cross paths, Annabeth Chase.”

She felt like she would explode as Annabeth fixed her with a look she wasn’t able to read. Before she could ask anything or change the subject, the blonde leaned forward and brought their lips together, taking her by surprise.

Oh, gods. What was happening? How did one of the deepest wishes of her heart come true? She was frozen, and felt Annabeth about to pull away, but her hand acted of its own accord and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her back in.

Piper’s lips moved wantonly, desperate because she knew the moment wouldn’t last forever. Her fingers lightly caressed Annabeth’s jaw, committing the feeling of her skin to memory. It was heavenly, it was everything she could’ve ever wanted.

_She really was selfish._

The thought made her stop, pulling back and holding her hand close to her chest. Annabeth probably didn’t really mean to kiss her, and she couldn’t just keep it going. She couldn’t be selfish.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

“Don’t be sorry.” The girl cut her off with fire in her eyes. “Don’t.”

Next thing she knew, Annabeth was kissing her again.


End file.
